| for a new post.
Just thought I needed it.
"Nobody's taking me," Jimmy said. "I'll be right here." |
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| I really want a new layout, but I can't find a good one that I like a lot.
Today was pretty average-- it would've been shamazing had I gotten to see Brandon! But other than that everything was pretty good. My "World Is Waiting for a Sunrise" solo went really well today. :D And it'll only get better!
I dunno, something about today was awkward. I read some in Revelation, which was über confusing! I have to study it more.
WOOHOO I'm going to take my drivers' license test next Friday! I'm so excited! I hope I pass; I'm pretty confident. Parking is just...uhhh...well.....
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| I guess I will never truly understand the elements of life. All I know is that I'm here where I am, living for God & His Son, and when I die I'll be with the both of them forever.
I'll never understand why such beautiful friendships have to end, and why other beautiful people come into my life randomly. It's been a hard couple of months, but I have loved [almost] every bit of it. I'll never understand how things connect over time, but when I stop to think about it it's unbelievable. I'll never understand the full capacity, mercy, grace, of God's love, but I'll never forget that He does love me and everything that happens He is working out for a greater purpose that I may never understand. I'll never understand why I am so blessed and so many other people have so much less than me, but I do understand that I don't need to take any of what I have for granted. I'll never understand why drugs and alcohol are so cool, but I understand why they aren't. .........
I just read a quote on a...still very important person's xanga that said:
"holding onto anger is like
grasping a hot coal with the intent
of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned."
I've never had trouble with this before, but now I am and it's awful. I'm trying so hard to forgive, but I'll never understand why this time is so much harder. Probably because I don't understand the reasons for all this, and I probably never will, which is why I need to just move on. I don't see anything going back to how it was, but only God knows the answer to that one. I just need to let it go so it will stop festering and bubbling up here and there. Sometimes it's ok, but other times I don't know what to do... Maybe she doesn't understand either and that's the reason for all of this. Maybe it's a learning experience for my own faults, and I've already figured out that one of them is blaming her for everything. I just don't even know. I really don't.
I also saw this quote on another person's site that said:
"A woman's soul should be so in love with the Lord that a man must pursue HIM to get to her."
I can tell you I've most definitely found that! For the time being. Who knows what the future holds- all I know is that right now it's wonderful, fantastic, amazing, phenomenal, insane!!! It's one of the best feelings ever!!
My question is:
How do I know if I'm really "falling"? How does anyone know? And does age matter whether or not it can happen? I don't know, and I'll never understand.
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| Xanga Xanga Xang-AH!
Xanga Xanga Xang-AH! [Hungry Hungry Hip-POS!] |
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| My picture on here is so old. I intend to leave it there forever, though. Do you think? Maybe? I really do miss xanga, and I feel like typing an uber long post on here. I'm not quite sure of what all to say...so maybe I won't. But gosh....I can't believe that the peak of my xanga usage was about two years ago, in the flipping EIGHTH GRADE!! I mean, I've had this dang thing for 719 DAYS!!!! That's over 2 years!! I miss 8th grade sometimes...the people...the times...the band...the teachers...school itself. Everything has gotten so much HARDER!! And to think, the boy whom I once commented on his xanga and he thought I was a freak because he didn't know me is now one of my closest friends, nd one of my favorite people. Wooooo <3 </3 |
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